You still feel angry and want to vindicate yourself, but know that is something Jesus didn’t do. Jesus always responded by asking a question or remaining silent. And any vengeance is His business not yours. In order to forgive those who drew you in, and spoke against you, you found peace by worshipping the Lord. Once calm, you used Jesus’ words, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” It was in that situation you realised the Lord’s gentle discipline by showing you how to think before you speak. Will you ever learn? It seems you constantly need forgiveness. To that thought the Lord responds, “You must also learn to forgive yourself.” Puzzled, you considered that. An amused and loving voice says, “Everyone makes mistakes you learn by seeing and turning from them. After all, you are only human!”
Your desire to grow like Jesus has you return to read the verses in the Bible. Romans 12 is about needing your mind renewed and transformed to bring understanding of the Lord’s good, pleasing and acceptable will. You ask Him to do just that. Within hours, from the deep recesses of your mind, conviction rises up bringing a plethora of negative emotions. Unable to shake off the invading darkness which makes you feel the worst of sinners you call upon the Lord. Overcome with uncontrollable weeping you cry out to God for His light and salvation. Gradually a balm pervades your soul. In experiencing that you realise it was only an inkling of the darkness which came upon Jesus as He took away your sins. His labour of love also accomplished the opportunity for you to choose to be born-again. And His Holy Spirit within had just washed through and cleansed your soul the beginning of the transformation you so desire.
Exhausted, you feel as if you had undergone a major operation, you stagger to bed, with the understanding and belief that His redemptive Spirit has healed the past, released His peace and brought light and love into the present. It’s been a painful, but precious time.
Word: “Laying your life down in tender surrender before the Lord will bring life, prosperity, and honour as your reward.” Proverbs 22:4
Worship: “The Potter’s Hand” Hillsong Worship 7 mins